Stone-age fundamentalists attacked pub going women in Bangalore. See news clip here.
Women replied by starting a campaign to send the fundamentalists pink chaddis (underwears) this Valentine’s day. See Pink Chaddi blog here. And their facebook page is here.
The Pink Chaddi Campaign
I am completely bowled over by the ingenuity of this reply. I see some faces going red over a lot of pink!
For more than 6 years now, ‘G’ (my house help) and I have been together. I believe we enjoy the working relationship that exists. I have found her to be particular about cleanliness and she meets the tough standards I set. Hopefully, I in turn have been a kind and loving employer. She goes out of her way to keep my house clean and I go out of my way to stand by her in whatever manner I can.
Recently she has been complaining of abdominal and chest pain. Some tests later, I found out that the problem is presence of Uterine Fibroids (Myomas). The doctors have advised a Hysterectomy.
I try and accompany ‘G’ to the doctor as often as I can. The consultations have flooded my vocabulary with terms associated with the female species. From the familiar Uterus and Ovaries to the distant Fallopian tubes and the not fully understood Menstruation and Menopause. And I am talking only of knowing what these organs and their major functions are. I dare not delve into my ignorance of subtle functions, side-effects, and the first hand knowledge a woman would have or atleast what a married man would have.
What Hysterectomy will you do: total or supracervical?
Should we consider Laparoscopic technique (increased expenses)?
What about Myomectomy?
Isn’t the Uterus of life long importance (wikipedia says so)?
Should we remove it (this should have been my first question)?
and some another few dozen questions I would like answered in ordinary language.
Now, all of this has overwhelmed me and I am somewhat embarrassed by my inability to hold a fuller discussion with the doctor. ‘G’s shyness is not helping either. Though the fact that she has taken the courage to end phone conversations with a nice ‘bye’ is promising.
Whoever said Ignorance is Bliss must have overlooked the peculiar plight of a single man, more familair with machines than females, having to assimilate complex subjects like Menstruation and Menopause.
Right now, there are women squabbling in the street outside my house.
And I simply cannot distinguish the sounds they are making from what I witnessed once at a hen coup.
So much for evolution.
“54% women back wife-beating” screamed the headline in today’s Times of India.
I read it again to make sure I read it right. Women supporting wife-beating? 54% of them?
Some other findings from the survey conducted in 28 states in India during 2005-2006:
- 51% men say it is OK for husband to beat his wife
- Over 40% of married women experience abuse at home
- 35% women were OK with being brutally assaulted by their husbands if they neglected household chores or their children
- Only 2% of abused women have ever sought police help
- Buddhist women (41%) report highest level of violence, followed by Muslim and Hindu women. Jain women face least violence (13%).
The last finding was another stunner. Buddhist women getting a rough deal from their Buddhist husbands? Not what I expected. How do survey people ensure their respondents are telling the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Maybe Buddhist women are more honest and so more got revealed. But then that still is 41% of them getting abused.
Compare this with a survey some days back that said “Indians are amongst the most satisfied with their lives”. Yeah, with such low expectations we are no doubt easily satisfied. Yogis, all of us.
“Why do you have to be so formal?”, she said in the manner of a comment.
For a second my thoughts were frozen as I had not imagined my gesture as “formal”. I somehow found that comment-question to be out of place, a little dry and bordering on the impolite. My mind whirled and quickly consulted whatever little I knew of her disposition and sensitivities and it was only then that I made some meaning out of the comment. So, I answered explaining the informality of the gesture. And all it took was an ordinary birthday gift, given out of sheer love and respect for her interests and associations!
Later, in the comforting solitude of aloneness, I pondered over the incident and its origins. Here I was expressing my joy through a socially accepted gesture. I would prefer a bearhug anyday but then not many people can take a public hug. Especially so if you are a young beautiful lady! Alternate responses could have been: “Thanks, that’s very nice of you”, or “Thanks, that’s very thoughtful of you” or the all time classic delivered with a smile that goes upto your eyes – “Thanks!”.
For strange reasons, giving and receiving have become burdensome. People keep score, see ulterior motives where none exist and have built a whole universe of complexity around one of the most fundamental acts to Life. While one would expect a natural act to be easy, the truth is far from that. Few people can receive with grace, fewer still can give gracefully.
Giving and Receiving is as fundamental as breathing. You receive breath and you give breath. The giver exists because there is a receiver. Neither is above the other. Neither can survive as a singular entity.
Giving is Receiving.
