Guldasta

A bouquet of flowers picked along the way ….

Love Care Responsibility August 22, 2010

Filed under: Me,family,love,women — gurdas @ :

Rakhi and accompanying letter from my sister

I was 9ish when she got married. So, I have no real memories of her from my younger years. Except some grainy recollections of her as the stern teacher at home. As I collected years, the bond between us metamorphosed. I went from young child to teenager to young adult to a brother. Yes, it took me a good 25 years to become my sister’s brother. Because only by the time I was 25 did our 11 year age difference stopped making a difference.

Somewhere along the way a few traditions got established, just like that. On her birthday, I would send her a personalised card. And she would send me a rakhi every year. It did not matter whether we were in different cities, countries, or continents. And just like in the past, this year too, my rakhi arrived well in time. But what makes this one more special than any before is not just the few thousand miles it has travelled but the letter that accompanies it. For this is the first time, I am being reminded of my duties towards my sister – love, care, and responsibility. Letters and the words printed on them have a surreal permanence to them. As I read the letter I witnessed the faith my sister reposes in me. For it takes nothing less than complete love and trust and the conviction of having done your duties to demand love like you deserve it. I can only hope to give back a fraction of what my sister has already given me.

And for being given the opportunity to do that, I must say I am blessed.

 

The Pink Chaddi (Underwear) Campaign February 11, 2009

Filed under: India,women — gurdas @ :

Stone-age fundamentalists attacked pub going women in Bangalore. See news clip here.

Women replied by starting a campaign to send the fundamentalists pink chaddis (underwears) this Valentine’s day. See Pink Chaddi blog here. And their facebook page is here.

The Pink Chaddi Campaign

The Pink Chaddi Campaign

I am completely bowled over by the ingenuity of this reply.  I see some faces going red over a lot of pink!

 

Of Menstruation and Menopause June 25, 2008

Filed under: Me,life,women — gurdas @ :
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For more than 6 years now, ‘G’ (my house help) and I have been together. I believe we enjoy the working relationship that exists. I have found her to be particular about cleanliness and she meets the tough standards I set. Hopefully, I in turn have been a kind and loving employer. She goes out of her way to keep my house clean and I go out of my way to stand by her in whatever manner I can.

Recently she has been complaining of abdominal and chest pain. Some tests later, I found out that the problem is presence of Uterine Fibroids (Myomas). The doctors have advised a Hysterectomy.

I try and accompany ‘G’ to the doctor as often as I can. The consultations have flooded my vocabulary with terms associated with the female species. From the familiar Uterus and Ovaries to the distant Fallopian tubes and the not fully understood Menstruation and Menopause. And I am talking only of knowing what these organs and their major functions are. I dare not delve into my ignorance of subtle functions, side-effects, and the first hand knowledge a woman would have or atleast what a married man would have.

What Hysterectomy will you do: total or supracervical?
Should we consider Laparoscopic technique (increased expenses)?
What about Myomectomy?
Isn’t the Uterus of life long importance (wikipedia says so)?
Should we remove it (this should have been my first question)?

and some another few dozen questions I would like answered in ordinary language.

Now, all of this has overwhelmed me and I am somewhat embarrassed by my inability to hold a fuller discussion with the doctor. ‘G’s shyness is not helping either. Though the fact that she has taken the courage to end phone conversations with a nice ‘bye’ is promising.

Whoever said Ignorance is Bliss must have overlooked the peculiar plight of a single man, more familair with machines than females, having to assimilate complex subjects like Menstruation and Menopause.

 

Mother Hen! December 4, 2007

Filed under: Ethics and Values,family,life,women — gurdas @ :

Right now, there are women squabbling in the street outside my house.

And I simply cannot distinguish the sounds they are making from what I witnessed once at a hen coup.

So much for evolution.

 

Desperate Housewives October 13, 2007

Filed under: Ethics and Values,India,family,women — gurdas @ :
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“54% women back wife-beating” screamed the headline in today’s Times of India.

I read it again to make sure I read it right. Women supporting wife-beating? 54% of them?

Some other findings from the survey conducted in 28 states in India during 2005-2006:

- 51% men say it is OK for husband to beat his wife

- Over 40% of married women experience abuse at home

- 35% women were OK with being brutally assaulted by their husbands if they neglected household chores or their children

- Only 2% of abused women have ever sought police help

- Buddhist women (41%) report highest level of violence, followed by Muslim and Hindu women. Jain women face least violence (13%).

The last finding was another stunner. Buddhist women getting a rough deal from their Buddhist husbands? Not what I expected. How do survey people ensure their respondents are telling the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Maybe Buddhist women are more honest and so more got revealed. But then that still is 41% of them getting abused.

Compare this with a survey some days back that said “Indians are amongst the most satisfied with their lives”. Yeah, with such low expectations we are no doubt easily satisfied. Yogis, all of us.