A bouquet of flowers picked along the way ….

keep walking November 25, 2009

Filed under: life,love,philosophy — gurdas @ :
















Relationships gain depth in leaps and bounds and rarely (if ever) is this process gradual. Yes, your effort in understanding a relationship and your investment of time and labour is everyday, but this is simply preparation for the big tests that life throws at you.

Bonding does not happen under ordinary circumstances.

A good example could be strangers thrown into a difficult situation, say a train wreck. All the years spent learning and understanding concepts of team work is simply preparation for the fight to survive this tragedy. And it is well-known that people and families who were complete strangers before a tragedy, become life long friends afterwards. So, what makes this happen?

I think tragedies and difficult times reveal our true identities and force the untainted human to step out of our everyday protective shells. We reset our priorities to the very basic needs, and since these needs are more or less similar across humans, everyone’s priorities get aligned. One can learn from this and bring the same joy of growing together in daily lives. By creating more situations where you have some if not all priorities aligned. Say going on a survival trek. Or playing a game of tennis. But these are by design. The big challenge and big rewards is learning to survive together the unplanned battles. From the ‘ordinary’, like the arguments that start from the kitchen or living room and always end up in the bed room to the ‘extraordinary’, like the loss of a child.

An amazing thing that can happen inside the conflict bubble is the act of placing the other before oneself. This is the magic moment. In a relationship between honest individuals, the act of giving up reigns supreme in creating a bond. When we give up, we expose a vulnerability even while the act itself is that of strength. I think Nature designed goodness to be recognizable. When you give up, you put your goodness on the table, where it gets identified, and that is what creates the bond. This act of extending yourself unconditionally is also known as love.

Relationships are journeys of the heart. To go far all you have to do is keep your love, and keep walking.


6 Responses to “keep walking”

  1. MeOfCourse Says:

    “Bonding does not happen under ordinary circumstances.”
    – Agree completely!
    A person can relate to another being solely on the basis of shared experiences and not just on shared space. And so, two people who have been through similar experiences in life are in a better position to get along with each other than those who can only imagine how it must have been.

  2. gurdas Says:

    I think you’ve summarized it well. Past experience is peerless in shaping our future behaviour and understanding of another. I often give this very simple example:
    Three strangers meet in a bar, two of them have been to the North Pole and the third is considered an expert on North Pole but has never set foot in the place (he knows more about the North Pole than the other two). They are all staring at a TV. And the TV flashes this “Temperatures at the North Pole can drop down to -50 degC”. The two people who have been there and experienced this temperature will have a flood of memories, from different times and situations, yet very alike. They KNOW what that temperature feels like. Their memories will bond them instantly. The book expert will be the outsider and will have to work harder at bonding.

  3. Gagan Says:

    Imperative understanding, well written!

  4. Nandini Rao Says:

    I so agree with everything you have written. Very nicely written.

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