Guldasta

A bouquet of flowers picked along the way ….

Love Care Responsibility August 22, 2010

Filed under: family,love,Me,women — gurdas @ :

Rakhi and accompanying letter from my sister

I was 9ish when she got married. So, I have no real memories of her from my younger years. Except some grainy recollections of her as the stern teacher at home. As I collected years, the bond between us metamorphosed. I went from young child to teenager to young adult to a brother. Yes, it took me a good 25 years to become my sister’s brother. Because only by the time I was 25 did our 11 year age difference stopped making a difference.

Somewhere along the way a few traditions got established, just like that. On her birthday, I would send her a personalised card. And she would send me a rakhi every year. It did not matter whether we were in different cities, countries, or continents. And just like in the past, this year too, my rakhi arrived well in time. But what makes this one more special than any before is not just the few thousand miles it has travelled but the letter that accompanies it. For this is the first time, I am being reminded of my duties towards my sister – love, care, and responsibility. Letters and the words printed on them have a surreal permanence to them. As I read the letter I witnessed the faith my sister reposes in me. For it takes nothing less than complete love and trust and the conviction of having done your duties to demand love like you deserve it. I can only hope to give back a fraction of what my sister has already given me.

And for being given the opportunity to do that, I must say I am blessed.

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9 Responses to “Love Care Responsibility”

  1. harman Says:

    I share your thoughts, and, I do respect your faithfulness in this pristine relationship.
    However, just taking a detour.

    Do we need a reminder every year to refresh
    our relationship and strengthen it.

    Isn’t it by birth a life long attachment ?

    • gurdas Says:

      Harman, thank you for the note. We do not need a reminder every year. In fact we need it more often than that! We need to remind ourselves often what our responsibilities are in any relationship. When we stop doing that, the relationship stops being meaningful.
      If the brother-sister bond were a given by birth, the world would be full of loving brother-sister relationships. But we both know it is not so. And the reason is people forget that in reality Love is a verb. It needs action to keep love alive.
      In my specific case, my sister and I were ‘separated’ when I was very young. So, our relationship took its own sweet time and path to flower. I simply mention the rakhi incident as a result, not a cause, of the bind between us; for the most part the bonding has happened by how we meet, greet, and spend time with each other and how we stand by each other in tough times.

      • harman Says:

        Exactly, Gurdas

        And my metaphor is not you and your relationship. Forgive me if I hurt you for that.That was just a cue to put my point on the table.

        I am conetsting the rituals; that is, now just a ritual more than a sense of responsibility that it should bestow. Where Rakhi has become a verb than love.

      • gurdas Says:

        No, harman, you did not hurt me at all! And I second your take about ritualisation.

  2. lori78 Says:

    It’s so nice to read something that reminds one of the importance of a loving family. I grew up with 4 siblings, and i may not get along with them sometimes but i love them all, and i so miss them now that i’m working here in the city. Thanks for sharing Gurdas 🙂

    • gurdas Says:

      Lori, its been a while and I hope you are doing well! Siblings are such treasures and I had too wide an age difference to fight often, but hey, I did get in a few fights 😉
      And, as you rightly said, the value of bonding and love of a family cannot be measured.

  3. Chatterbox Says:

    Wow! what an absolutely delightful read and I simply loved that shot 😛
    We might not agree with them often and we might not have said it more than a few times but we all love our siblings from the bottom of our hearts. A bond that blossoms as life rolls on and everyone seems to have moved on 😀 😀


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