Guldasta

A bouquet of flowers picked along the way ….

An experiment in Love August 28, 2007

Filed under: family,friends,life,love — gurdas @ :

Today, I sent a “I love you” sms to some of my closest friends and my family. The reaction did not surprise me. A few of them have called back and they all assumed it was a misfire. That I wanted to express my love to someone else (a damsel?) and erroneously sent an sms to them. They were all disappointed when I told them there has been no error!

I also recollect when some years ago (for the first time) I called my mom and told her “I love you”. She spent the next 10 minutes worrying what was wrong with me and whether I had landed into some trouble.  Things have changed since then. My family is more tuned to my impromptu expressions of love.

Isn’t it tragic that we have forgotten to express our love to people we love – friends and family? We go about our lives as if love needs no expression and nothing can be further from the truth. The expression need not always be verbose or grand gestures. Peaceful silence, a caress, a smile, are all expressions of love.

How have we arrived at this juncture? What makes it so difficult to say “I love you”?

How about you calling someone and saying “I love you”?

—- Followup thoughts —-

A few friends came back wondering what I meant by the message. Really, how complex is a “I love you”?

Another friend called and said “I have some bad news for you. I think your cellphone has been infected by a virus. I got this message from you … .”I had to cut him short before he wasted another second worrying for me  🙂

Is it that we are now seasoned to believe anything but that it is quite normal to say “I love you” to people you love?

 

The Journey August 27, 2007

Filed under: life,love,poetry — gurdas @ :

Sometimes it happens,
When you are caught unaware.
The sweet pain cuts through your heart
And all your feelings are laid bare

In that state of nakedness you find
The thread of love is what binds
You yearn to keep the thought for eternity
To escape and yet realise reality
It is then that you want to grow
To rise above and leave yourself below

The depth of your thoughts drown your doubts;
You dream about the eternal spring
And the end of the perennial drought.
The clarity of your own dreams dazzles you.
You look above and admire the sky so blue.
With your eyes wide open and all senses alert,
You take a deep breath and say
“Life is beautiful….”,
Hoping the euphoria continues for
Every night and every day..

Before one emotion dies you re-kindle another
Your intensity makes me laugh and shudder
Like imagination enslaved by a falling star
You capture my thoughts from afar
With every blink and every sigh
You posses each moment lest it fly

As the waves rise and fall
Hear the ocean sing a song to you
Must you not return the call?
Or is it that you have no clue?

Perhaps, you chose to ignore the signs
Binding you with endless twines.
The nudity of your own feelings intimidate you,
The overwhelming emotions are daunting too

You look at the sky
And fathom the endless space you have to fly.
You appreciate the joy that it brings,
Yet you hesitate to go out and spread your wings

To get the sun a rose must unfurl
The same is with wings and souls
And like the rose, every joy has its price
The sun brings gale and dust
The flight is a potential drop
And yet the rose petals out
Unmindful of losing itself
That and only that is living
For the rest is but existing

This poem written as a collaborative effort between a friend and myself. It was fun writing a poem over the email with each person writing alternative stanzas. It remained unfinished for reasons I no longer remember. But it was a lot of fun nonetheless.

 Interested in trying it out?

 

Haystack again August 9, 2007

Filed under: life,poetry — gurdas @ :

Continued from Haystack

.

The old man got busy again
Labouring hard many winter and rain
He soon lost all count of days
And forgot his sons and their wayward ways
 
The Gods were kind and the produce good
But his wife no longer beside him stood
A content woman she was in her last days
For she built a school where children play
 
Then one day he got a letter
And tears streamed down his sharp cheekbones
Mackaw, his son, had written an apology
Saying that he did wrong back then
 
He wanted his parents to come stay with him
And promised to take good care of both
And many other stories he told
To try undo the mistake of old
 
So the old man too a letter wrote
In which he first forgives his son
And then continues to write this
That the field is where his heart is
 
Because the soil never gave up on him
And he is too old to try new things
So though now a son he has to call his own
The haystack still in the moonlight shone

 

Lessons from Life : Sai Baba Episode August 7, 2007

Filed under: India,life — gurdas @ :

In October 2004, work took me Nasik, a city I had never visited. To reach Nasik from Baroda, I preferred going through Mumbai. A direct rail connection was not available and 12 hour travel by bus is not my idea of safe and relaxed travel. So, I decided to take a night train from Baroda which would drop me at Dadar (a locality in Mumbai) at 4:30am. And from Dadar take the 6:30am bus that drops me at Nasik 4 hours later.
 
I left office at the eleventh hour and rushed to Jyotsnaben’s residence. Jyotsnaben runs a meal service and I have been eating at her place for the last few years. Her food might waver in quality on occasions, but she invariably more than makes up with a healthy dose of affection. Truly, she serves more than one can pay for. Even with a fortune. As I rushed through my dinner, I was telling her of my travel to Nasik and she happened to mention that since I am going all the way to Nasik, I should also plan to visit Shirdi and pay homage to Sai Baba. I replied to Jyotsnaben’s suggestion with haste and maybe even some disaffection. I said something like “who has the time for a visit to Shirdi?” Something inside me shouted “mistake!” but since she did not react, I too kept silent almost wishing she had given me an excuse to undo that thought.
 
Food over, I proceeded to the railway station and boarded the train. I was asleep in no time and was woken by the clamouring of passengers eager to get down at Dadar. I hurriedly collected my senses and belongings and soon found myself yawning and stretching on the platform and proceeded towards the exit that would take me to the bus stop.

The early morning air was balmy and one could feel a lightness and life in it. Mumbai probably never sleeps and true to this image there were people scrambling about even at this early hour. There was a certain bounce in my walk, helped by the idea of travel and the wonderful FM music on air. What else could I have asked for? Hardly aware of the luggage I was carrying, in no time, I reached the spot where I was to board the bus. My eagerness to be on the move made waiting a less than exciting idea. Or maybe it was because I wanted to walk some more? But the salubrious morning had plans of which I had no clue. I looked around for a place to settle down because the bus was due only 2 hours later. As I scanned the area, my eye caught sight of a small inviting structure with stairs in front. It was under a tree, unoccupied and ideally located along the walkway. That means a ring side view of people as they hurry about their morning. Perfect!

The absence of natural light prevented a clear view of what the structure contained. Upon reaching the spot I could make out that it was some kind of temple. I settled down, stretched my legs and continued to enjoy the FM music. The DJ was wishing good morning in her honeyed voice. Good morning! I replied, almost aloud. She went on to feed details of the water pipe that had burst and how it was causing hardship to residents of that locality. My attention moved on to the hawkers who had appeared to take their negotiated places on the walkway. The shop nearest to me belonged to a paan-wallah and it was fun to see him arrange his wares with military precision. In no time, red, blue, green, and yellow boxes announced he was ready for customers. Out came the betel leaves, the spittoon and with that ambled along his first customer. Mumbai was ready to receive another day of spittle trajectories, I thought, and giggled. Beside the paan-wallah appeared the newspaper-wallah. The rainbow effect of the paanshop now starkly contrasted with the almost Black&White newspapers. And it just wasn’t about colour. While the paan depicts an ancient India, the English dailies portrayed our new ambitions. India and Indians had truly arrived at the world stage. Lock, stock, paan and barrel.

To add to my joy, the morning milieu added a tea vendor to its order. Tea! I said to myself, sprang to my feet and crossed the road eager to sip some of that invigorating liquid. The first cup disappeared in no time and I needed a second to relish the indescribable joys of a well brewed cup of tea. Cup in hand I ambled back to my rest and heaved onto the stairs with my eyes focused on balancing the tea in the cup.

Many more vendors appeared to occupy the walkway. One had shirts and scarves on sale. Another had footwear. I passed the next thirty minutes juggling my thoughts catalysed by the drama around me and the DJ’s sweet banter and love marinated songs. Soon the sun had peeked through the darkness and there was a cozy light around. The need for a third cup of tea made itself felt. I got up and crossed the road. This time the tea vendor smiled, recognising me as good business. I smiled back, paid for the cup and hurried back to my spot.

The shock came when I reached to the stairs which had been bearing me for the last 60 odd minutes.
 
The stairs and the structure was a temple of Sai Baba.
 
For a few seconds I just stared. And in those moments, I was grounded into dust. My Self felt washed away and in some strange manner loved. My nonchalance of the last evening flashed by and I rarely felt ‘smaller’ in my life. Once I got through the shock, a smile broke upon my lips. A silent thank you was said somewhere within my being. Not only for the generosity contained within the universe but more for its utterly unique and impressionable style of teaching a lesson. It is said there is no teacher greater than life. I agree.
 
After this episode I made another two visits to Nasik. On each occassion I sunk into the pleasure of sitting on the same stairs. Each time I was reminded of my lesson. Each time I felt loved and wanted. Each time I felt truly connected and belonging to the universe. Time did not permit me a visit to Shirdi. Hopefully, I have still been lucky to realise a truth and be blessed.

Each of us, every single day, is touched and caressed by Life. One need not read any book if one can read the book of life.

 

Sanjay Dutt gets “Punishment” July 31, 2007

Filed under: Ethics and Values,India,life — gurdas @ :

 The breaking story on all news channels is the 6year jail term handed out to Indian film star Sanjay Dutt. The drama called justice left me thinking on what justice is all about. From the way things go these days and from the choice of words of news reporters, it seems justice is all about punishment. That is something I am very uncomfortable with. I believe society needs to do away with punishment courts and bring in reform courts. Justice should be about healing, reform and correction. Punishment should be an option only when the accused refuses to follow a path of reform or simply refuses to cooperate in a manner beneficial to society. And there is no reason whatsoever to give someone a life sentence. Let us hold that until we know more about life and death, shall we?

Lets take the example of Sanjay Dutt. Without doubt he committed an offence by possessing an AK-56 (amongst other weapons) during the days following 1993 riots. But is that all to it? Who takes responsibility for the failure of law and order leading ordinary citizens to feel threatened and helpless; which leads to them taking desperate measures? Will the government stand trial and will the state chief minister go to jail for not attending to his/her responsibility? I am not trying to justify the crime committed by Dutt, just trying to explain.

Having proven his guilt, one must ask what are the options before us for Sanjay Dutt? The usual option is to hand out a punishment – some jail term. I ask, what purpose does this punishment serve? Does the society and the country benefit by Sanjay Dutt going to jail? Then there is the question of message to aspiring criminals. How about Dutt coming on TV, saying sorry to the country and telling us how much his action cost him in terms of peace of mind and grace? Isn’t that a better message? Hardened criminal minds in any case will not be affected by the punishment given to Dutt. But the “criminal due to drastic circumstances”, such as the Mumbai riots of 1993, will get the message.

How about Sanjay Dutt receiving a punishment that says “you will build an orphanage for children who lose their parents in riots and also build a hospital that attends to trauma patients”. That will benefit society, give Dutt a chance to reform, increase his love for society and increase society’s love and patience with people who are fundamentally good but just happen to commit an anomalous crime.

Possessing a weapon does not make Sanjay Dutt a criminal. He is not a threat to society. And his serving 6 years in jail will not benefit society.

So why are we sending him to jail? Why are we pushing him into a dark cold cell where his spirit will slowly die while he could have been so much more beneficial to society by staying outside? To satisfy our age old dusty notions of justice? An idea being carried forward from the days of monarchs and autocrats; that the criminal must be punished with no concern to the human life which, instead of being reformed, will be destroyed?

And Dutt is only an example I use. There are hundreds and thousands of such people in India who are not criminals but end up being jailed for years simply because out of the millions of moments in their lives, they lost control once. And behind nearly every such crime is the basic failure of the government to create a welfare state. Unfortunately, the government does not stand trail. It is a shame that we forget the hundreds of times these people have been good citizens and human beings. And sending them to jail probably stifles the good more than correct the bad. How sad.

Recent news stories increasingly give the impression that society is becoming intolerant. A fact highlighted by the many police brutalities in the form of lathi charge at protestors. I cannot forget a particular scene in which a policeman is shown holding up the face of a 70 year old man while he boots his cheeks. Repeatedly. The old man was minimally dressed and you could count the bones of his rib cage. And similar pictures are flashed every other month. What are we doing? Is punishment so desirable that we become animals?

I recollect another case which is an example of why our present system of justice is doing no justice to society. The case was of Salman Khan going hunting for Chinkaras – a protected species of deer. His crime is proven without doubt. And the justice system gives him some jail term. How does that help the Chinkara? How about this – ask Salman Khan to contribute 5 crore rupees to a Chinkara protection force and have him serve 3 months in a national park. That will help better the status of Chinkaras and give Salman Khan a path to reform. With each such reform judgment there is the potential to win the momentary criminal and turn him/her into a better human being. Since the “punishment” calls out to the goodness within each of us, people will come to love the idea of justice because it helps them become better humans.

Both Dutt and Khan are not criminals. They did not go murder someone in cold blood or rape someone or burn someone’s house. They are people like you and me who just happened to momentarily go astray.

Why do we call our code as Indian Penal Code? Look up the word ‘penal’ in a dictionary and this is what you get – “Having as its object the infliction of punishment, punitive; prescribing the punishment to be inflicted for an offence” – from the Shorter Oxford Dictionary. Does this sound like something nice? Not to me. Maybe we should have Indian Reform Code.

Am I wrong in sensing that since in India it is very hard to bring a true criminal to justice, the few people who get caught in our legal nets (and who are sometimes nice individuals) get treated to the anger and frustration of our society? At any given time, there must be a few thousand people in Bihar who carry illegal weapons. And they go around shooting people with these. And the government is fully aware of these people. So, what are we doing about them? Nothing. They kill, rape, burn for years and decades and nothing, absolutely nothing happens. But a Sanjay Dutt, gets caught and dragged. We vent all our anger on him. He is punished for being a nice person who made a mistake. Had he been a hardcore criminal, he would have gone scot-free.

Someone on NDTV was saying “the courts cannot be emotional” and I find it very funny. What is wrong about being nice and humane? Is emotion not an integral part of being human? Does that mean the courts are/should be inhuman? How can a momentary error become cause for years in jail? How are we going to account for the goodness done by an individual? If it is hard facts that courts live by, then let us get ALL the facts about an individual. Not just facts relating to a particular case against the individual. Because we will be punishing the person and not just a part of him/her. Let us account for every moment of goodness, every act of kindness that the accused has done. And then let us sum up the good and bad parts and let the result decide the nature and quantum of sentence.

If Sanjay Dutt has been a good citizen otherwise, has contributed to NGOs and has been kind and loving to people around him, then those are also FACTS which must be taken into consideration. Specially in a country like India, where it is particularly difficult to be nice and kind because the system does everything possible to make you angry and frustrated.

I vote for Sanjay Dutt to be set free. Because there are no facts that prove he is a danger to society (while some of our parliamentarians definitely are) and thus needs to be kept behind bars. Infact, sending him to jail is the only real crime in this case.