A bouquet of flowers picked along the way ….

एक गुलाब (One Rose) February 14, 2010

Filed under: Inspiration,love,Me,poetry — gurdas @ :

One Rose, One Prayer, One Life


एक गुलाब
और उसके साथ जुड़े हज़ारों एहसास|
एक प्रार्थना
और उसके साथ बंधे लाखों वादे|
एक जीवन
और उसमे सिर्फ तुम|


One Rose,
And a thousand attached emotions.
One Prayer,
And a million coupled promises.
One Life,
And in it only you.


On a day like today February 13, 2010

Filed under: Ethics and Values,life,love — gurdas @ :
On a day like today

On a day like today


Note: This piece was created about 10 years ago. My apologies to people who are conspicuous by absence.


Protected: on my knees February 8, 2010

Filed under: life,love,Me — gurdas @ :

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नज़र February 7, 2010

Filed under: love,Me,poetry — gurdas @ :

कब सांझ ढली और कब आयी रात
इसकी हमको नहीं खबर|
हमें तो दिखा सिर्फ उन का उजाला
जब भी जहाँ भी गयी नज़र|


When the light faded and when arrived the night
Of this I have no recollection
All I saw was her radiant beauty
Whenever Wherever I looked


दो कदम और सही (two more steps) January 24, 2010

Filed under: life,love,Me,poetry — gurdas @ :


कुछ थका हुआ कुछ डरा हुआ
पर उमीदों और हौंसलों से भरा हुआ
एक अनजान रस्ते पे थमते और चलते हुए कदम
और कितने कदम का है ये सफ़र
बस दो कदम और सही


न अंधेरों की खबर न खाई का डर
एक अनदेखी मंजिल पे टिकी नज़र
एक निरंतर कोशिश एक अनंत संघर्ष
और कितने कदम पे है सफलता
बस दो कदम और सही


न आराम की चाह न भूक की पहचान
जैसे दाव पे लगी हुयी है जान
जैसे दरिया की दौड़ सागर तक
और कितने कदम पर होगा विलय
बस दो कदम और सही


क्या कभी वोह होंगें हमारे
कब हर सांस पे मेहेकेंगी दो सांसें
ज़िन्दगी की सबसे अनमोल खोज पे चलते हुए
मैं खुद से सिर्फ एक वादा करता गया


बस दो कदम और सही



Title is inspired by the song Do Kadam from the movie Meenaxi.

I used IIT Mumbai’s English to Hindi dictionary for some words.


Yours S-S-S-t-t-utteringly December 11, 2009

Filed under: family,fiction+fact cocktail,life,love,Me — gurdas @ :
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Imagine waking up to find you have lost a limb. Or that you have lost your voice. Or that you can no longer speak a single sentence without someone laughing at you.

It is not easy. It is specially difficult if you are merely 10 years old and eager to reach out to the world around you.

Somewhere around that age I started to stutter. So, because of this stutter thing, I lived a part of my young growing years “fighting” an inconsiderate world. This fight shaped me forever. That I could not care less about societal norms, that I will always fight for what I believe in, that I will be able to forgive anyone, that I will be gifted with empathy, and that I can love unconditionally are all in part born out of and/or nutured by this fight.

You have to go through fire once to know what it means to be burnt. And once you are burnt there are only two things that can happen to you. Either you will shrivel and die or you will come out brighter and purer. For reasons I do not fully understand and surely do not take credit for, I happened to emerge talking nineteen to the dozen from my state of speechlessness. I would open my mouth and incoherence would emanate. People around me would become uncomfortable. They would get embarrased as if I have dropped my pants. Some would hide their emotion and keep a straight face. Some would step away. Some would laugh. Right there. Right in my face. It is to the latter that I partly owe my triumph.

Two incidents remain etched like yesterday in my mind. No matter they happend more than 20 years ago. I was in grade six, and stood up to answer something the teacher asked. I knew the answer. I just did not know how to get it out of my lungs. But I started anyhow. And then Sunita*, a classmate, started laughing. And then another classmate laughed. And then another. It no longer mattered if I knew the answer. It no longer mattered if I did finally get it out. For all you would have heard in that classroom was laughter.

The other memory is of playtime outside my house. Probably a summer evening. My neighbours Madhu* and Nisha* and I were enagaged in small talk. Both a few years elder to me. I had this joke to tell which I thought was very funny. So I said I have a joke to tell. Nisha started laughing and said “well, we will know the end before you have finished”. I do not remember the moment exactly after she said this, but I do remember running home, burying myself in my mother’s lap, and crying my heart out. It seemed the joke was on me. I also remember Nisha running in a few moments later, filled with remorse for her words, and crying.

So, unlike most of you, I did not get my speech without a fight. And fight I did. Tooth and nail. Sweat and blood. I just did not stop talking. My teachers had only this complaint all my school life – “he is talkative”. I was obedient, polite, clean, on time, and sharp. They just did not understand why I would want to talk and sometimes get punished for it. But someone did. This half educated, barely five feet tall, and tough as a nail woman I call mother understood exactly what it was all about. No, she had no idea what was the cause of her son’s infliction. I think she did not give two hoots for the cause. But she did know something no other person knew. She never asked me to shut up. She never laughed at me. She never got embarassed if it took me ages to tell her what I wanted to tell her. She would just wait, like an angel, for me to finish. I am sure she would have waited for an eternity if I had lost my voice completely. Mothers are made entirely of the world’s most precious element. They are made purely of love.

So, riding on her love and some perseverance, I managed to come far enough to talk fluently. I still think faster than I can talk, and I can talk faster than some people can think. But once in a while I would find the disability reappear for an odd second or two and the words would jam up. People still get embarassed when that rare slip happens. And I still get “You are talkative”. But I laugh it off. For I have earned my voice.


* names changed to protect identities.


keep walking November 25, 2009

Filed under: life,love,philosophy — gurdas @ :
















Relationships gain depth in leaps and bounds and rarely (if ever) is this process gradual. Yes, your effort in understanding a relationship and your investment of time and labour is everyday, but this is simply preparation for the big tests that life throws at you.

Bonding does not happen under ordinary circumstances.

A good example could be strangers thrown into a difficult situation, say a train wreck. All the years spent learning and understanding concepts of team work is simply preparation for the fight to survive this tragedy. And it is well-known that people and families who were complete strangers before a tragedy, become life long friends afterwards. So, what makes this happen?

I think tragedies and difficult times reveal our true identities and force the untainted human to step out of our everyday protective shells. We reset our priorities to the very basic needs, and since these needs are more or less similar across humans, everyone’s priorities get aligned. One can learn from this and bring the same joy of growing together in daily lives. By creating more situations where you have some if not all priorities aligned. Say going on a survival trek. Or playing a game of tennis. But these are by design. The big challenge and big rewards is learning to survive together the unplanned battles. From the ‘ordinary’, like the arguments that start from the kitchen or living room and always end up in the bed room to the ‘extraordinary’, like the loss of a child.

An amazing thing that can happen inside the conflict bubble is the act of placing the other before oneself. This is the magic moment. In a relationship between honest individuals, the act of giving up reigns supreme in creating a bond. When we give up, we expose a vulnerability even while the act itself is that of strength. I think Nature designed goodness to be recognizable. When you give up, you put your goodness on the table, where it gets identified, and that is what creates the bond. This act of extending yourself unconditionally is also known as love.

Relationships are journeys of the heart. To go far all you have to do is keep your love, and keep walking.