Guldasta

Goodbye Cheri December 8, 2009

Filed under: friends — gurdas @ :

Cheri's friends and family at the memorial service, June 3, 2010

Cheri, office manager for my apartment complex, passed away this past weekend.

The news reached us a few minutes ago. And only a few minutes before that I had gone down to the office looking for a package I was expecting and wondered why the office was closed. Little did I know the news that awaited me. I liked Cheri. She was good at her job and she was a great person. I saw her on Friday when I stopped by at the office concerning collections for a charity. We exchanged niceties and chit chatted about issues related to the new parking rules. I took leave saying “Enjoy your weekend”.

A few months ago I was eager to move out of my apartment to another building within the same complex; a place with more sun and air. It was an unsure period since I was also evaluating moving in with my international friends. Cheri completely understood the difficult choice I had to make and she went out of her way to provide time and options. I know she stepped away from guidelines by allowing me to keep my apartment beyond the lease renewal deadline. She patiently continued to show me apartments as they became available and on the fourth visit she showed me the apartment where I now live.

For more than a year now, Cheri has been there when we needed her. It will take me some time to visualise that office without Cheri, her welcoming smile, and her hearty greeting “Good morning, Gurdas!”. I am informed she has family in Michigan and Florida and we are waiting to find out where the funeral will take place. I hope I get to say goodbye in person.

Cheri Smolen, my friend, you leave us poorer.

— update and request —

Many of us are saddened to hear that Cheri fought with lonliness. I, for one, never gauged that from my brief but plenty interactions with her during her time at Western Manor apartments. She seemed aloof at times, but then I can say that for everyone, including myself. And this increases my respect for Cheri. If she was fighting a battle within herself, and yet managed to diligently attend to her professional duties, it is nothing but a mark of her character. So, God bless her.

I am also going to humbly request that comments focus on memories of Cheri, what she meant to you, her goodness, and your goodbye message. When I wrote this piece I had not imagined so many of Cheri’s friends would find their way here. For that, I am thankful to each of you. And I would like this page to become our very modest gift to our dear friend.

— update 2 —

There are some comments where people have requested for information about Cheri’s family; specially the request by Shirley Franklin Fleury. If you have information to share, please post it as a comment or send it to me. My email address appears in the ‘About’ page (see top blue bar).

— update 3 —

Please also leave your condolences for Cheri here. Laura, thank you for starting this.

— update 4 —

Today, June 3, 2010, some of Cheri’s friends from the spiritual community she attended got together and celebrated her life with a memorial service. I am so glad I went. This was my first such attendance in the US, and I was moved by what I saw and heard. A service berry tree was planted in her memory beside the visitor center at the Umstead Park and some of us shared our memories of Cheri. What I liked most was that hope and joy was abound in that group, and when we did have a tear or two, it had nothing to do with sadness, but a lot to do with love. I happen to remark that life is rather extraordinary because the passing away of a friend becomes the reason to meet so many new wonderful people. There was a lot of wisdom collectively held between the group that had come together to celebrate Cheri’s life. I think she would be proud of what she has left behind. I felt like saying, Hello Cheri.

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Stay December 3, 2009

Filed under: poetry — gurdas @ :

I pray the morning is harbinger of your stay
But if you choose to fly away
Fly far for your feathers are strong
And own the sky for that is where you belong

Soar above, glide fearlessly
Strong as an eagle, fast as a hawk
And if you ever get tired and need to perch
Seek the branches of the fair birch

At the edge of the woods it stands alone
Unlike any other, without any clone
It would be nice if together we could have flown
But then, where would an eagle build a home?

keep walking November 25, 2009

Filed under: life,love,philosophy — gurdas @ :

Relationships gain depth in leaps and bounds and rarely (if ever) is this process gradual. Yes, your effort in understanding a relationship and your investment of time and labour is everyday, but this is simply preparation for the big tests that life throws at you.

Bonding does not happen under ordinary circumstances.

A good example could be strangers thrown into a difficult situation, say a train wreck. All the years spent learning and understanding concepts of team work is simply preparation for the fight to survive this tragedy. And it is well-known that people and families who were complete strangers before a tragedy, become life long friends afterwards. So, what makes this happen?

I think tragedies and difficult times reveal our true identities and force the untainted human to step out of our everyday protective shells. We reset our priorities to the very basic needs, and since these needs are more or less similar across humans, everyone’s priorities get aligned. One can learn from this and bring the same joy of growing together in daily lives. By creating more situations where you have some if not all priorities aligned. Say going on a survival trek. Or playing a game of tennis. But these are by design. The big challenge and big rewards is learning to survive together the unplanned battles. From the ‘ordinary’, like the arguments that start from the kitchen or living room and always end up in the bed room to the ‘extraordinary’, like the loss of a child.

An amazing thing that can happen inside the conflict bubble is the act of placing the other before oneself. This is the magic moment. In a relationship between honest individuals, the act of giving up reigns supreme in creating a bond. When we give up, we expose a vulnerability even while the act itself is that of strength. I think Nature designed goodness to be recognizable. When you give up, you put your goodness on the table, where it gets identified, and that is what creates the bond. This act of extending yourself unconditionally is also known as love.

Relationships are journeys of the heart. To go far all you have to do is keep your love, and keep walking.

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Is – Was – Will Be November 14, 2009

Filed under: Inspiration,life,nature,nostalgia — gurdas @ :
Tags: Carl Sagan, Cosmos, Science

“The COSMOS is all that is or ever was or ever will be. Our feeblest contemplations of the Cosmos stir us – there is a tingling in the spine, a catch in the voice, a faint sensation, as if a distant memory, of falling from a height. We know we are approaching the greatest of mysteries” – Carl Sagan, Chapter 1, Cosmos

Carl Sagan's celebrated TV series and book - Cosmos

I saw the series on TV when I was all of 13. I sat wide eyed as Carl Sagan spoke poetically about the love of his life. About Life. About the Cosmos. About human endeavour and discovery. About curiosity and scientific exploration. I did not understand all he was saying. But my awe and amazement was unbound. My fate was sealed. I was to pursue a career that stays close to science.

Carl Sagan, photo scanned from the back cover of his book, Cosmos

19 years later nothing has changed. I am still as curious. I am still a wide eyed 13 year old boy watching in wonderment the magic that unfolds around me everyday. November 7 was Carl Sagan Day, and when my friend Jim posted this on his facebook profile, the idea germinated that we celebrate this extra-ordinary man’s life by sharing his vision. We were disappointed that we did not gather a crowd for the “trial” screening, but the pleasure of watching Episode 1 on a big screen was no less. And the Cosmos wanted to say “Hi!”, so the day brought what I believe to be one of the most momentous Cosmic events of my very brief lifetime. NASA announced that LCROSS impact data indicates water on Moon.

We plan to establish a Carl Sagan society on campus, spread word to where enthusiasts could be (say the Physics department), and make this an annual event.

Carl Sagan said goodbye in December 1996, and as he would have liked to say, so returned star dust to where it came from.

Comments (1)

Okuribito (Movie Review) October 10, 2009

Filed under: Movie Reviews,Uncategorized — gurdas @ :

Okuribito

Released as Departures in the English speaking world, Okuribito, the entry from Japan, won the 2009 Academy Award for Best Foreign Film. The movie is about the story of cello player who in search of work goes back to his birthplace and lands an odd job. The job of Okuribito – a person who prepares the departed for their final journey.

Poignant in parts, funny in others, the movie had a sense of calm to it that I found endearing. It is also a nice peek into Japanese society. Daigo Kobayashi, the young out of work cellist, comes across as a shy, and yet strong willed person. His travails are honestly captured by Masahiro Motoki. Look out for his portrayal of disgust and sickness on his first assignment to prepare a rotting old woman’s body, the breakdown scene where he tears through his docile wife’s clothes, and the many scenes where he is preparing the departed. Other characters are well fleshed out, specially that of Daigo’s wife Mika Kobayashi (played by Ryoko Hirosue) and his boss Ikuei Sasaki (played by Tsutomu Yamazaki).

This is probably my first truly Japanese movie and I enjoyed the freshness of seeing great performances from unfamiliar artists and the slow and beautiful poetry which I believe represents the society. The background score holds up well and thankfully never disturbs the on screen calm. There is some allegory thrown in, for example the scene where the characters are feasting on meat in an almost animal like manner.

The subtitles in the theatre version I saw were well worded and timed, and so, I had no problem in keeping up with the mood or pace of the film. I would go so far as to say that I enjoyed the sounds of Japanese dialogue though I did not understand a single word.

Okuribito is worth a watch for many reasons, not the least of which is the message that the dead deserve respect and grace, that the departed soul must be given a loving goodbye. I recommend this movie for a quiet evening watch.